Letter to Mother | Tatiana Pahlen

Letter to Mother

An Unknown Ukrainian Soldier

Translated by Tatiana Pahlen

I’m alright, mother, don’t you worry,
Yes, I was well fed and clothed too.
Yes, I’m equipped with a warm jacket,
Don’t worry, I’m fighting here as my dad once did.
I wasn’t a volunteer, I was recruited
Usually protectors must succeed
And I was shooting at my foes – too many.
We were ought to kill separatists.

But once the bullets reached civilians,
My heart was plunged with a sharp knife
I’m no longer seeing dreams of fantasy
I know, you didn’t raise me to be this way.
When we were captured, no one tortured us,
Wounded, I was driven by a med's van.

And blood of a Separatist went into my vein,
There were no other volunteers, forgive me mom.
There are the same people, mother, as in Lvov
Same blood and flesh, but they are not part of us
We have the same God, they don't pray to ‘Vova’
But to the icons – of sacred images of Christ.

I saw the death, it brushed our many lives
Of soldiers, children, women, unknown moms,
I put my weapons at my feet,
Refusing to shoot innocent people;
My countrymen killed me out of their rage.

I will always repent, mother
That I used my weapons against foes,
Aiming at those who fought against us with stubborn will,
Protecting their homes.

Forgive me, mother,
Your son who writes you from the grave.